My Day!

Well I had some kind of night!! After getting home from work all I wanted to do was relax and get my mind off of the labors of the day. I puposely did not make a phone call that I was supposed to have made. Of course the individual calls me to find out why. My response was "You are always busy everytime I call, either on the other line, or busy with your family". It has gotten to the point that I don't want to hear those words, which come on the regular more than anything. I have been in a close friendship with this person for several years but realized that tonight I wanted to substract him from my equation. It is getting more and more challenging everyday because we do have feelings for each other. Every week we are in argument over things that are petty and just down right stupid. Makes no sense!!I think that we all get to a point of no tolerance policy in most cases. I know that I want the drama to end and move on to concentrating on those things which are more important.Overall the relationship its self has proven to be contaminated for us both. When you get to the point that you curse out each other, hang up in the others face, and send ugly text messages you know it's time to move around. What gets me the most is that we love each other which I think we do but MY GOODNESS!! My father never cursed at my mother and if he did I never heard it. The bell went off in my head that a man that says he loves you and then turns around and curses you out and call you out of your name sure as hell does not love you. Agape love that Jesus has for me is out of this WORLD! Unconditional love that does not change like the weather. Regardless as to how mad you get at someone should never take it to the point of saying things to hurt then emotionally as well as mentally. Words hurt and effect people more than we could even imagine. In all honesty I hope that he and I can remain cool with each other minus the emotionally part that was huge in our relationship.Please believe that you can only let a person bring you down as far as you let them. No one can tell me my worth more than me. If a person cannot treat and more importantly love you the way you should be loved you need to step. As women I know that we are vulnerable in realtionships. We are taught to be nuturers and loving people. We tend to be sensative to the feelings of others. What we fail to realize in most cases and not just women that we can not please everyone all the time, including your man or your close buddy that just so happens to be a man. LOL!Love yourself first for goodness sake. My ultimate lesson from all of this is to never put God second in ANYTHING! Just because you have a boo or sugar pop doesn't give you permission to treat the Lord like he is an option and not a priority. That was some heck of a night!!